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"I was much more emotionally needy than I would have been otherwise," admits Crissy.But in a way, she says, her father's illness made her approach to the relationship more stripped down.
The two went to a live show to see a band they both liked perform, and the rest was history: Rebecca moved in with Ryan three months later, and they got married in October 2007.
Lesson learned: Though most online daters spend a lot of time corresponding by email before meeting, Rebecca disagrees: "You run the risk, intentionally or not, of creating these online personas that aren't really you. "He seemed so eloquent and sweet—just a nice, Jewish boy." The pair met for their first date in a bookstore.
Not so with Sam—whom she agreed to make a date with after six weeks of emails and hour-long phone calls. "I thought, 'Oh my gosh, this is a real man, not just an email! Lesson learned: Keep expectations low; it can take a while to find a match.
Even with a system like e Harmony, whose detailed matching process saved her from "kissing a lot of frogs," you still have to feel that chemistry.
Within a few weeks, Tonya was matched with Frank, and they began exchanging emails, at least one a day for a few weeks.
"By the time we actually met, I felt like I knew him pretty well already—he was so expressive in his messages." Then they met—on a first date that lasted nine hours.
"And if you're serious, use a serious site, like e Harmony," says Tonya. " The first time Crissy, 32, talked to her husband, Mark, she knew this was the man she'd marry.
"He was hysterically funny, and I loved his voice," says Crissy, who's currently expecting the couple's fourth child (she has a son from a previous relationship, and Mark, a widower, has two sons).
Their main impression was that they couldn't believe the other actually existed, that it was like a dream they'd soon wake up from.
"It's actually hard to realize that, yes, there really is someone out there who is so good for me—so smart, so funny. We're just so stinkin' happy." They married 18 months later, and are now expecting their first child together. You might think that it's impossible to find a perfect match, but they're out there.
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